All the verses in the website are available as a collection in paperback or ebook from Amazon:

 

 

This funny Christmas poems web page has, for your free non commercial use a collection of short, modern, hilarious poems on the theme of Christmas and Santa Claus. They were written specially for this site, and are ideal for writing in Christmas cards. We hope you enjoy them.

Other Christmas poems available: 

Traditional Verses   Verses for Family Members   Poems for Kids

 

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I like being friends with you, and I
Find your company pleasant.
I hope this means a lot because
I’ve not got you a present.

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No socks, no tie, no DVD,
And no Samsung Galaxy,
No gold, no frankinsense, no myrrh
No gift from me at all this year.

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When Santa saw your Christmas list
He said “Ho Ho Ho!”
I asked if you’d been good this year,
He said “No No No!”

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Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Sprouts are boiling in the pan,
I wonder if this year you’ll get
A sweater from your gran.

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A wish for festive jollity –
That’s your Christmas gift from me.
I know, “that’s cheap” I hear you moan,
But I can’t afford a new smartphone.

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Here’s a Christmas story for you,
You probably won’t believe.
I bumped into old Santa Claus
Last year, on Christmas Eve.
I saw him up on my roof
Parking up his sled.
He gave me a message for you,
This is what he said –
“<name> has been naughty again,
Next year is his/her last chance.
Next year I am going to
Take a tougher stance.”
I meant to pass the message on
But I did not remember.
Sorry there’s not much of the year left,
Just half of December.

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I hope the Christmas spirit
Brings you joy and cheer
And when the spirit’s finished
Get started on the beer!

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I hope this Christmas brings you
Fantastic festive fun,
Good will, peace, and joy,
And pressies by the ton!

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Be happy and jolly
At this time of year.
Be nice to all the people you
Don’t usually go near.

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May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Christmas dinner
Stay off your thighs!

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