Here is a great collection of original and funny verses. We love writing Valentines Day poems here at Verses World. Some of us like writing sweet and sentimental verses, but most of us like the funny ones. The ones that made it onto this page are the ones that made us laugh. They say the way to woman’s heart is through the funny bone don’t they? Or was it a man’s heart? Either way, these poems should be ideal for Valentines cards.
What’s that you say? It’s through the stomach? Well, it’s the same principle.
See also our Roses are Red Poems
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Some girls do not need flowers from their man,
Some girls complain that chocolates make them fat,
Some girls do not need big romantic gestures,
Please be advised that I am not like that!
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Facebook says I’m single
But that’s not really true.
My heart belongs to someone,
And that someone is you.
We’d make a great couple,
Jealous folk would hate us,
So please give me a reason
To update my status.
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Take me somewhere nice tonight
We’ll have a cosy chat,
Any place that doesn’t ask,
‘Do you want fries with that?’
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I am your mystery valentine,
Your secret admirer.
I’m rich, good-looking, sexy,
And a compulsive liar.
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I love when we’re together.
I miss you when we’re not –
My heart fills with sadness,
My nose fills with snot.
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If I were a knight, for you
I’d slay a mighty beast.
If I were a chef, for you
I would prepare a feast.
If I were a poet, for you
I would write a sonnet.
But, I’m not, so here, for you
Is a card with a loveheart on it.
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Your love is worth more to me
Than diamonds, gold, and rubies.
I love your lips,
Your waist, your hips,
Your eyes, your legs, your boobies.
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You’re such a red hot sexy guy/chick
You really blow my mind.
You are the guy/girl of my dreams
The hot and saucy kind.
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You’re gorgeous, smart, and sexy,
You’re as special as can be.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell
Are you doing with me?
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Some people go for looks,
Some personality,
Some people go for brains,
I went for all three.
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You are a very sexy guy/girl
You make my heart go potty.
I can see the one for me
Is you, cause you’re top totty!
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Here’s a group of funny valentine poems from a girl to a guy:
I love you, I love you, more than you know,
I love you more than Juliet loved Romeo.
I love you, I love you, I’ll say it again,
I love you, more than Barbie loves Ken.
I love you, I love you, I love you more than
Catherine Zeta Jones loves her old man.
I love you, I love you, I love you so
I’ll be your Princess Leia if you’ll be my Han Solo.
… and here’s a variation from a guy to a girl:
I love you, I love you, more than you know,
More than Joe DiMaggio loved Marilyn Monroe.
I love you, I love you, I’ll say it again,
I love you, more than Superman loves Lois Lane.
I love you, I love you, I’m hit by Cupid’s arrow,
I love you more than King Kong loved Ann Darrow.
I love you, I love you, I love you so
Be my Esmerelda, I’ll be your Quasimodo.
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Funny Valentine Poems for wife
Tons of love
Loads of kisses
I’m so glad
That you’re my missus
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Funny Valentine Poems for husband
Tons of love
Loads of kisses
I’m so glad
That I’m your missus
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You are a gorgeous sexy man,
I’m glad that you’re my hubby,
But don’t worry, I’ll still love you
When you’re bald and tubby.
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Poems for wife or husband
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m so glad
I married you.
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Verses World 